What do you think of when you hear the word self care? Taking care of yourself – I’ll explain to you here why it’s so much more than “doing something good for you”. And there are a lot of practical tips on top of that :-).
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What do you think when you hear the word “self-care”? What do you associate with it? An evening just for you, with a good book and a good glass of wine? A wonderful full body treatment with all the trimmings? Or maybe a wellness weekend with your sweetheart or your best friend? All of this is wonderful and certainly good for you, your body and your soul. In my opinion, however, this only has something to do with true self-care to a limited extent. It’s just a small part of it. There is so much more to truly taking care of yourself.
What do you think of when you hear the word “self-care”? What do you associate with it? An evening just for you, with a good book and a good glass of wine? A wonderful full body treatment with all the trimmings? Or maybe a wellness weekend with your sweetheart or your best friend? All of this is wonderful and certainly good for you, your body and your soul. In my opinion, however, this only has something to do with true self-care to a limited extent. It’s just a small part of it. There is so much more to truly taking care of yourself.
That’s exactly why I wrote this article for you. To make you realize that taking a hot bath once a week isn’t enough. At least not if you really want to change something about your stress experience in your full working day in the long term. If you want to go through your life more relaxed, relaxed and with more ease.
The key? Make self-care a regular part of your everyday life. Take care of yourself regularly and truly. Let’s see together how you can do it.
Self-care is not fast food for the soul
Take your everyday life. A normal working day. By most likely trying to work through as many items on your to-do list as possible. Do some quick shopping on the way home and stop by your mother’s. Arrived at home the shocking look at the clock: already so late! You actually wanted to cook comfortably with your partner. Ah, and the washing machine needs to be cleared out too… You sigh and wonder where has the time gone. What would you have done without, what could you have kept shorter to create more space for your to-do’s?
Do you notice what’s going on in your everyday life?
It feels like 95% of your everyday life is designed to maximize efficiency. You try to get more and more done in less and less time.
You might also automatically fall into the optimization trap< /span>. Until you eventually notice how you’re slowly running out. Then it’s time to recharge your batteries. And this as quickly as possible and again – effectively. So you try to “take care of yourself” in the remaining 5%.
Sick of trying to give it your all day after day and wanting to please everyone, you long for rest and relaxation. After a pause where you can zoom out of your life for a moment and step out. And that’s when you run yourself into a nice hot bubble bath, turn off your phone, and almost “force” your body to relax at the touch of a button. At least for the next 30 minutes. Then it starts again, all the hustle and bustle…
Self-care doesn’t mean “escape” from your everyday life
Don’t get me wrong: I’m absolute Supporter of an extensive and wonderful bath, where you (perhaps with a glass of sparkling wine) let your soul dangle. The motivation, the expectations and thus the functions behind such self-care activities are decisive.
What do I mean by that?
Self-care (taking the bath in this example) shouldn’t be something you have to “earn” because you’re particularly drained or have accomplished a lot. That you need to free yourself from the chains of your everyday life. That helps you to get a grip on this inner tension and hectic pace.
Having a caring look at yourself should rather be a natural and self-evident part of you. It is an attitude, an attitude towards yourself that is reflected in many small actions in your everyday life.
Taking care of yourself means that you consciously make the decision to say YES to you and your needs
And not just in the 30 minutes in the bathtub. But throughout your everyday life. Again and again in between.
Let me explain this to you with examples.
For example, if you sit at your desk in your office for 8 hours and actually notice after 2 hours that you and your would do your back good to get up. to stretch you Leaving your office for a moment and walking around the block. Little things like that aren’t rocket science at all and if you’re being honest, they’ll take you less than 5 minutes. And guarantee you a better, more concentrated (and ultimately even more productive) work.
Nevertheless, we don’t take such short breaks. Either because we have totally forgotten how to listen to the body and what it needs. Or because we clench our teeth and force ourselves to stay on task instead of listening to our bodies.
Self-care means taking your needs seriously in your everyday life
In the first step, this means developing a mindful view of yourself and your body. And in the second step to see what he needs. It’s not so much about big things. But also very elementary basic needs that we all too easily lose sight of in the midst of everyday life.
That’s how it was for me with drinking water for a long time. I didn’t drink enough during the day and didn’t even realize when I was actually thirsty.
Maybe you know that you don’t pay any attention to when your body needs liquid. For some time I have fundamentally changed my focus. I have become much more mindful and have learned to be more sensitive to my physical needs. To take time in between in everyday life to feel into myself for a moment. And now I realize very quickly: Wow, my body needs water and I should drink something.
And so it is with many things. The body sends you many signals about what it needs at this moment. You just have to listen too.
Because what you focus on on a small scale, i.e. in the small moments “in between”, your energy is also directed on a large scale.
It Self-care is therefore less about experiencing THE relaxation weekend or taking time for THE activity. It’s more about making sure that you don’t fall by the wayside in everyday life.
Again, don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with a wonderful wellness weekend where you can recharge and relax. I myself am a self-confessed wellness hotel lover. And it’s definitely better than not taking any time to rest at all.
However, if you’re rushing around 95% of your time and live in a hurry and stress, there’s an awful lot of missed opportunities, you take care of yourself before it’s too late. Before you need the “extreme rest”.
Self-care means not taking your busy everyday life as an excuse for treating yourself badly or not standing up for yourself
< p>It means you learn to stop trying to “boost” yourself through single actions and want to restore yourself. And instead learn to really care for yourself.
Develop an attitude that expresses compassion and self-esteem.
strong> When you value yourself, you automatically treat yourself well. Then you take your own needs, feelings and resources seriously and automatically work on your desire not only to stay healthy physically, mentally and spiritually, but also to be happy and fulfilled.
You say to yourself: I am worth taking care of myself and making sure i’m okay. And so, when practiced properly, self-care is the key to living a fulfilling life.
Self-care makes you more resilient and changes your experience of stress
You will notice that many “problems” and difficulties with which you originally had to struggle will also be resolved. For example, that you still have to run the entire household. Or see going to the gym as a burden. If you consciously say yes to yourself and your needs, your many “I have to” become “I may” or “I want”.
Why? Taking care of yourself continuously in your everyday life means developing a completely different energy level and a higher level of composure and tolerance. You are more resilient, and you are no longer easily disturbed by mini-stressors.
By treating yourself in a mindful and appreciative manner, you build a life from which you no longer have to escape. You are no longer a victim of external circumstances, but actively go about what you want in your life. Your everyday life is nothing that you need a break from.
How do you get there now? To a life that not only looks good on the outside, but also feels good?
In the first step, it is important to me that you understand that a self-care attitude implies a continuous process.
Even if it is suggested to you in many guidebooks, blogs or websites: there is no patent recipe that you use once and then “flop” it forever. You can start taking care of yourself in just a few steps. However, it’s a lifelong process for most of us.
Don’t worry, it’s not like there’s nothing else you can do with your life but take care of yourself. Rather, it is important to develop small but enormously important habits that will remind you to keep looking at yourself, your inner being and your body in your everyday life, which is determined by the outside world. To see what you need right now and to take a small but effective measure as the next step.
And in doing so, you actively and constantly deal with the topic. Until this inner attitude full of self-awareness and self-care takes effect automatically. And in the end it won’t cost you any additional effort (why? Read here again – you’ll find out everything you need to know about your habits and how central they are for internal and external change processes).
Before I finally give you practical tips and suggestions on what such habits could look like and what all belongs to your comprehensive self-care, I would like to aspect is still incredibly important.
Unfortunately, I have to tell you that self-care is not always easy. On the contrary. It’s pretty hard work to be honest. And that’s why it’s not always and automatically super nice and pleasant.
Taking active care of yourself also means facing up to unpleasant things
I’m an absolute Proponent of creating moments of pleasure. It doesn’t matter whether it’s quality time with your loved ones, turning on your favorite song, cooking your favorite meal or actually taking a bath – celebrate what you enjoy and enjoy it as intensely as possible!
Nevertheless – and hopefully that’s clear by now become – means taking care of yourself, taking a closer look. And to really deal with yourself.
If you do this, you may find that you have unnoticed certain ways of thinking and behaving that are downright energy drainers. Which are actually not good for you and which you should actually part with. And THAT also means self-care: letting go, communicating boundaries and saying no< /span>, give your negative feelings space.
Taking care of yourself may come along with this , not to do justice to everyone else either. And doing things you least want to do.
Like…
- breaking up with “friends” who pull you down, don’t want the best for you and your friendship is actually a thing of the past
- a work colleague who behaves impossibly, to give an objective opinion and to take a stand
- not everything and to agree to everyone so as not to disappoint others, although you actually need time for yourself
- Accepting the anger you feel toward a person, enduring it, and trying to talk to them
- Get check-ups at the doctor’s or call in sick without hesitation when you really belong in bed – no matter how badly your place is on fire.
…and so on.
I think you get what I mean.
< p>Self-care isn’t always just peace, joy, pancakes.
It also means tackling tough things and jumping over your shadow
Leaving your comfort zone.
But this is exactly what results in an overall attitude that makes you more stress-resistant and resilient on a small and large scale power. With the help of which you can go through your everyday life with much more ease. And even better – which can be said: Yes, my life feels good!
Now the question remains: how do you manage to cultivate a self-care attitude in your everyday life? With which observation and behavioral habits can you cultivate a benevolent and appreciative relationship with yourself in the long term?
You want to give your self-care wings?
You accept Do you keep telling yourself to take better care of yourself, but everyday life throws a spanner in the works? If you want to turn your “I really should take care of myself more” into an “I’ll do it now!” then get my free Self-Care Planning and Tracking Toolkit. In this toolkit, a planner, 2 habit trackers and 30 quick self-care ideas help you get started.
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There are many ways to take care of yourself
A well-known psychologist, specifically Psychoanalyst Luise Reddemann has worked out different levels on which you can practice self-care. I like this idea and they are particularly good for clarifying and reminding you which and how many areas actually belong to dealing well with yourself.
I want for each of the levels give you 3-4 practical ways of thinking and behaving that you can start with right away.
1. Physical level
The physical dimension includes everything that increases your physical well-being. Behaviors with which you provide your body with resources and energy and with which you pay attention to your physical health are, for example
- moving, becoming active and doing sports (e.g. attending sports courses: yoga , Zumba, Pilates)
- put on your jogging shoes when it’s raining and you don’t feel like it at all
- eat a healthy and balanced diet & enough to drink
- forgo the currywurst with fries and grab a salad plate
- to ensure regular relaxation and recreation (e.g. also through visits to the sauna, mindfulness and relaxation exercises, getting enough sleep )
- attend regular medical check-ups and think preventively & to act
First and foremost it means: to be sensitive to the signals of your body and to listen to it!
2. Emotional, feeling-related level
This is particularly about your inner, emotional well-being: your mood, mood and, on a larger scale, your mental state.
You are doing yourself good when you…
- take time to acknowledge and talk about your feelings
- cultivate positive feelings like fun and joy every day
- allow yourself to cry and to show your feelings openly and to talk about them
- also allow yourself to be angry, jealous or envious. Ideally, you then question where these feelings come from and what they want to tell you.
- Consciously enjoys activities and things (e.g. food, your hobbies, the weather…)
- Consciously sets yourself apart and create moments that only belong to you and in which you can listen to yourself
3. Intellectual level
Taking care of yourself in the long term also means dealing with yourself over the long term, for example by…
- connecting with your own thoughts and examine whether they are working for you or, in fact, against you and your fulfilling life
- become aware of your beliefs, ie your previously undisputed reality and truth, and question them
- open yourself to something that you don’t like at first sight, such as an opera or ballet performance to visit
- your inner critic and your inner drivers identify
- you dealing with hurtful experiences from the past, accepting them as part of you and thereby giving you inner peace
- grows personally, ie you are interested in new areas and go through the world with curious, open eyes
4. Social level
Self-care does not mean that everything automatically revolves around you. We humans are social creatures and need friends, family and other people by our side.
You are addressing your need to belong when you
- regularly associate with people and make appointments that are important to you
- leave work behind if a friend really needs you
- are open and make new contacts
- are willing admitting mistakes and apologizing to others
- express your love for others
- does not shy away from addressing conflicts but tries to solve them constructively
5. Spiritual level
No, spiritual does not mean that you have to go to church and has nothing to do with gurus (nor necessarily with Meditation) to do. Because living spirituality in your everyday life means above all: to love, to be grateful and to trust. And this attitude will also help you to take care of yourself.
On this level you take care of yourself when you
- clarify your personal values for yourself and live according to this compass
- have grappled with the question about the meaning of your life< /li>
- Take time out every night and ask yourself if you’re still on the right path and how you would know if you weren’t
- a exhibit an optimistic and life-affirming attitude
- feelings of < strong>Gratitude make an integral part of your everyday life
- shed your mistrust and give others a leap of faith – even if it’s difficult for you
Most likely fulfill d u many points already. That’s great and you should definitely keep doing it. Nevertheless, I wanted to give you an overview again. Because it is usually the case that we tend to concentrate on certain aspects and quickly lose sight of others. Of course you can still have 1-2 levels that are particularly important to you and give you good feelings most effectively. And then it’s also good to focus on that in the first place. Still, ideally you manage to keep the levels in some kind of balance.
Phew… that was quite a lot. And everything I wanted to give you today and in this article.
I’m really excited to see what you got out of it. Write in the comments:
- Which level is most important to you?
- Which points do you already fulfill and which ones would you like to cultivate more and integrate even more into your everyday life?< /li>
- And last but not least: which unpleasant or strenuous action would you have to undertake if you take my idea of comprehensive self-care seriously?
Self-care is ( d) a topic?
Do you already know the article series “I think of myself!” full of strategies and inspiration for more self-care? In Part 1 you will learn why self-care is so important and the scientifically proven benefits of actively taking care of yourself . In this Part 2 you learned why real self-care is more than taking a bath and what self-care can look like in everyday life . In Part 3 you will learn how to set yourself apart and say no – without a guilty conscience. Knowing that most of us are short on time, deliversPart 4 Inspiration for small self-care moments that you can easily and playfully integrate into your everyday life. Self-care to go! Finally, in Part 5, I show you how to treat yourself in a more kind and compassionate manner. PS: Sharing is caring: If you liked the article and found it helpful, share it now with your loved ones and with everyone else who the knowledge can also help. Thank you!
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